He said:
Umbrellas remind me of all the women I've dated in my life. They look after you while you treat them well and the moment you let your attention slip - wham! You've lost them for good. And the same thing happens with the next and the next.
Never, like a good friend or blackberry left in the back of a taxi, do they come back. Yes I speak from plenty of experience and granted I shouldn't let my attention slip but nobody's perfect. Am I looking for a woman who'll stand for anything? No, but in this day and age people just don't fight for anything - if they feel they're not getting the attention they need, they give up and will wait for someone else to come look after them... Will I one day find the perfect umbrella? Who knows? But for the moment all I can say is let it rain, rain, rain.
She said:
I love umbrellas. The sound the rain makes when water drops fall, feeling sheltered. The possibility of romance, don't all the great love scenes take place under a rainy sky? Of course, what I mean is, I love umbrellas in theory. Pretty pink, green, blue and yellow umbrellas that never break. Not the real kind that blow above your head and don't really cover you at all so you and your handbag end up drenched and you rush into a shop to replace your piece of shit plastic umbrella with a cheap new one that will undoubtedly also fall to pieces and so the cycle begins again... What I'm saying is, everything in my head looks and feels so much better than the version that takes place in the real world. I often dream of cupcakes, then I finally eat them and...the sugary sweetness always makes me feel sick. Did anyone else rush to the Louvre with bated breath to discover the Mona Lisa was frankly much bloody smaller that you thought it would be? If you could get past the sweaty crowds to get a look at it, that is.That's life. It promises something but delivers another. But still, I can't help myself, I spend a fortune on a beautiful new umbrella every Autumn and tell myself, this time, I won't get wet. Sucker.
1 comment:
I feel your brolly pain He man. I slip away when the attention wanes. You know how easily people will turn into kleptos when umbrellas, and apparently women, are concerned. Maybe the trick is to invest heavily in one top of the range umbrella this rainy season. Engrave your initials on it, don't let it out of your sight. As a brolly/female I tell you we don't mean to get swept up in somebody elses life, we sometimes miss the warm hands of our original owner, but its hard to find your way back when you're swept up in the current. After all, you're just a prop in this equation.
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