Vampire Luvvin...

Twilight in 30 seconds with bunnies

The fascination with the sexy undead who can suck you dry is a fairly straight forward one so I wont bother. Recently there's been a rise in popular culture glorifying the vamps
themselves as opposed to those who "slay" them, which goes to show you that secretly we all root for the bad guy. Bad guys and gals don't live by health and safety code limitations, they please themselves first and foremost and make up "the rules" as they go along. Even the intense, creepy kind look like they are having fun with it. Repellant... Yet strangely attractive.

I draw the line at Twilight the movie.

Grown women, educated to the gills, swoon at the mention of this sappy sap fest. Gay men who should know better do too, but them we can excuse, I think it's the killer cheekbones drawing them in and not the "romance". The bunny cartoon is superior in capturing the absurd nature of this movie, teenage hormones meet immortality and super human strength, in a much less constipated way than the actual actors did on screen. Animal passion is never difficult to appreciate but its hard with these two, or maybe its just her, she looks grumpy throughout the film, which is pretty much how one expects teenage girls to behave, but this is fantasy dammit... Emote.

The real romantic in Twilight has to be the cinematographer; the shots, the colors, the background, I was falling in love with the quality of light. Every scene was perfectly placed, dialogue who... check out this yummy close up. To me the visual arts should be pleasing to one's vision, or the whole excercise is pointless; if I just wanted clever banter, I'd go see a play, if I solely craved action, well I'd shoot myself, I expect movies to sweep me up in beautiful imagery from the opening credits onwards. Every other flaw I can forgive, even messing up the heat in a sexy teenage vamp flick. Speaking of vampires, one would think they'd make the perfect creative artist, so tortured and all that time on their hands..

"Cat Among the Pigeons"