Ode to Cancer

Adrian Bugariu - Dancing through water

So you're "in love"... And you expect a reaction. I am so mad at you. I have nothing to offer but an internal shrug. Six months later you come up with this feeling that I needed to hear back then. It is an irritatingly male trait, this penchant for (what they would like to think are) astounding revelations.

Congratulations on finally admitting what was glaringly obvious you stubborn git. Now what... Am I supposed to swoon and fall backwards into your arms? Do you think a statement like that, so hard for your fine (damn fine) self to make, will just magic away the hurt the anger the bewilderment the months and months of "getting over you"? If only love lives worked that way... The world would be littered with happily ever afters.

As it stands, your big move depresses me. I want to drown myself in oblivion and not go there at all, at all, at all. Love is a verb you dense monster, it should come in the form of loving actions, its not something you trade emotions with when you feel like a woman walked out on you before you were ready to let go. 

The way I feel about you scares me, its like swimming in the sea after only knowing pools, seemingly infinite, controlled by mysterious forces, the risk of drowning always there. 

I'm not in love with you, and I never will be again, but I love you so deeply, so consistently, so tirelessly that even as I ween myself of the thought of you my heart leaps in resistance. 

Well screw you and my eeedjit heart, there's more fun in the world than you and your emo madness, there's more to love than this, show me... Show me then we'll have something to talk about.

Maybe.