Confession: I don’t do Chinese food much. Before coming to America, I didn’t know what spring rolls were, I’d never seen Ramen noodles, and I didn’t catch the craze for Pho. But when your roommates are both Chinese, there’s little room for escape. Resistance is futile. And the Chinese restaurant down the street is calling—twenty-four-seven, like there’s no tomorrow (and you absolutely must eat today)—lights and aromas and melodic voices enticing any and all passersby.
Very soon, I warmed to the place. The servers were friendly and sociable, the food was delicious, ingredients were fresh. They took a fancy to me, the long and lanky redheaded guy with the scruffy face and corkscrew curls, maybe because they’d never seen hair so red,; lucky for me, the color red is lucky in China. There was even a cute hostess with walnut-brown eyes and ink-black hair and deep adorable dimples in cheeks that I wanted to cup in my hands and kiss. Yea, apart from all that, I didn’t do Chinese food much.
Problem: the fortune cookies creeped me out. I didn't pay them any heed initially; I believed in them as much as I believed in horoscopes. But I read them anyway, because I like to laugh at nonsense. You will fall in love with the last girl you see today? Today is a lucky day for the optimistic man. Your talents will be recognized and suitably rewarded. But when I started dating Adorable Dimples, when I landed my dream job at the college fair interview, when my thesis manuscript was snatched out of the ether and I got an emailed book deal with a national publisher, I stopped laughing. Don’t eat any dinner today or else you’ll be sick. I did, and spent the rest of that day vomiting from food poison. Be cautious while walking in darkness alone. That week I was robbed walking home from the library. You will soon lose your heart’s desire. Next day, Adorable broke up with me.
So here I am again, satisfied with the delicious duck but a little glum that Adorable is completely ignoring me as she waits on the couple across the room. I break open the wrapper, run my fingers over the sleek crisp surface of the fortune cookie, and place it cautiously in my mouth for a nibble. I draw out the tiny white paper through the crack, unfolding it slowly. I close my eyes, and concentrate as hard as I could. So if you know everything, I warn the cookie, say how I can gain back everything I’ve lost. Give me one great reason why I should not break you into a million little crumbles on the table. What do I do?
I open my eyes, smooth the paper, and read.
"Angreek87"
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