Staring and thinking. Thinking and staring

Ernst Ludwig Kirchner - Artistin (Marzella)

 

I didn’t see this in a gallery in Paris, but on a postcard I found when I was sorting through a box of stuff in my flat. I first saw it a long time ago in the Die Brücke Museum, Berlin. Translated, Die Brücke means ‘The Bridge’ and was the name of a group of expressionist painters and printmakers that often used bright colours and simple forms. Kirchner, the painter of this picture was one of the founding members.

I used to have a framed poster of the painting in my living room in London but because of the tiny size of flats in Paris, sadly it had to be packed away when I moved here.

I’ve looked at this picture more than any other in my life. I guess I fell in love with it because I felt that even though it was made over 70 years before I was born, the painting was of me.

As a teenager I did a lot of staring out of the window, always with a cat by my side. I was probably brooding about my latest unobtainable crush, the boredom of life in the countryside or how much I wanted to be eighteen. Now, many years later with much calmer hormones and more important things to worry about, I still love to think and stare.

Living on the fourth floor and located on a main road gives me much more to watch. My road is one of the main routes for protests in Paris. I’ve also witnessed house fires, photoshoots, danced along to carnivals or on a quiet day just watched people emerge from the Metro escalator.

The other reason why I love this painting is because it reminds me of Berlin, where I first saw it. I went there in the second year of university on an Art History study trip. It quickly changed from a study trip to a coming of age trip and I didn’t want to go home.

Kirchner was known for his outrageous parties and over-stepping of boundaries. The legacy of this spirit was still very much alive in the city and I didn’t sleep for a week. My eyes were opened to a new view of the world and of myself, which gave me even more to think about while quietly staring out of the window.

"The Imaginary Historian"